Word Meanings & Usage

How to Use ‘Whom’ in a Sentence and Sound Smart

Have you ever paused mid-sentence and asked yourself, “Do I say who or whom?” You’re not alone. In fact, most native English speakers struggle with this—yes, even the smart ones. But here’s the good news: using ‘whom’ correctly isn’t that hard once you know a few tricks.

What’s the Difference Between “Who” and “Whom”?

The simplest way to understand it is this:

• Who is used as the subject of a sentence — the person doing the action.
• Whom is used as the object — the person receiving the action.

Example:
“Who called you?” ? “He called me.”
“To whom did you speak?” ? “I spoke to him.”

The “He/Him” Test (It’s Genius!)

Here’s a life-saving tip: if you can answer the question with “he,” use who. If the answer is “him,” then whom is your friend.

Try it:

• “________ do you trust?” ? “I trust him.” ? ? Whom
• “________ is coming to the party?” ? “He is coming.” ? ? Who

When Should You Actually Use “Whom”?

Let’s be real—“whom” sounds a bit formal. You’ll hear it more in writing, interviews, or professional conversations. But knowing how to use it can make you sound smart, articulate, and grammar-savvy.

Formal Example:

“To whom it may concern” — this is a classic opening in letters and official communication.

Everyday Example:

“Whom are you meeting after work?” — sounds polished and correct, even if people don’t always say it that way.

More Real-Life Examples

• “Whom did you invite to the event?”
• “With whom are you going on vacation?”
• “She’s the person whom I respect the most.”

Common Mistakes to Avoid

? “Whom is calling me?”
? “Who is calling me?” (Remember: the caller is the subject — use who.)

? “To who should I send this?”
? “To whom should I send this?” (Object of the preposition — use whom.)

Is It Okay to Use “Who” Instead?

Yes — in everyday speech, most people use “who” even when “whom” is technically correct. You won’t be arrested by the grammar police. But if you want to sound sharp, professional, or just enjoy grammar, “whom” is the way to go.

Pro Tip: Look for Prepositions

If there’s a preposition right before the blank, it’s usually “whom.” Example: “With whom, for whom, to whom, by whom.”

Quiz Yourself!

1. “________ do you admire the most?”
2. “________ is leading the meeting today?”
3. “To ________ was the package delivered?”

Answers:

1. Whom
2. Who
3. Whom

When “Whom” Sounds Awkward

Sometimes using “whom” can sound a bit stiff or pretentious in casual settings. In those cases, it’s totally fine to rephrase:

• Instead of “With whom are you going?” ? Try “Who are you going with?”

It’s still grammatically correct — just more relaxed.

Conclusion

Knowing when to use “whom” can instantly level up your grammar game. While it’s not always necessary in casual speech, mastering it gives you a huge advantage in writing, formal situations, and sounding just a little smarter than the average Joe.

So next time you get stuck—remember the “he/him” trick, and don’t be afraid to sound clever. Your English teacher would be proud!

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

1. Is it wrong to use “who” instead of “whom”?

Not always. In casual speech, it’s fine. But in formal writing or grammar-sensitive contexts, “whom” is preferred.

2. What’s the easiest way to tell if I need “whom”?

Use the “he/him” test. If “him” fits, use “whom.”

3. Can I end a sentence with “whom”?

Yes, but it may sound awkward. You can often rephrase it to sound more natural.

4. Why do people avoid using “whom”?

It sounds formal and is less common in speech. But that doesn’t mean it’s wrong!

5. Should I always use “whom” in writing?

Use it when it’s grammatically correct, especially in academic, legal, or professional writing.